Pages

Monday, 2 April 2012

Realisation strikes.


'She is scared. Yes. She shudders thinking about the near future, she cries silently in the darkness of the late nights…'
I stop and stare at the words I have written. My words. Words describing my feelings yet I make them anonymous.
"You are a coward" a voice from deep within my mind rumbles.
I shrug; I know so, of course.
"A COWARD" the voice is much more blunt and stabbing this time.
Despite myself I quiver suddenly with fear. I know I am one.
"What are you afraid of? That your friends might read this? They are friends! They'll know it! There is nothing to be afraid of, leave that hiding place of yours. Come up front, show yourself, there is more to you than you think, let people know. Come out! " 
I don’t know if it was a lecture, an order or a mere speech. I sigh, I feel something, a little confidence.
"Believe! Start over!"
I do as told. I write again, once more.
'I am scared. Yes. I shudder thinking about the near future, I cry silently in the darkness of the late nights… I am not sure if I walk alone or are all those I love beside me. I am not sure if my steps are steadfast, I do not want to stumble I know I'll bruise. I want support; I want them around me together, because together we'll manage. I know so.'
I can! I smile, I write on. It's me this time.

Momina.


12 comments:

  1. extremely honest...true for everyone :')

    ReplyDelete
  2. wonderful! does this describes your self or are you impersonating...?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you! and I wouldn't disclose that because I feel it looses the charm! :P

      Delete
    2. Don't fear future. First step will be easier even if you didn't have anyone by your side. :-)

      Delete
    3. true that! only the part requiring you to muster up the courage to take the first step seems difficult!

      Delete
  3. Do you know, Momina, why this certain piece is one of your most popular posts?
    Because, it's one of the most Beautiful things I have ever read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, this means alot! :)

      Delete
  4. The beauty of being honest and true to yourself, of finally breaking through the never-ending layers of disguises and excuses and of the uncorrupted energy of moving forward as your own real self.

    Man, I really love your posts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your kind words make me smile, thank you very much, I am glad you do! :)

      Delete
  5. Yes, breaking the shackles, invisible, yet so restraining, so deeply and avidly apposed that you see and feel the deepening ravines on your skin and soul made by the immaterial flux of fears, intimidations and if's; yes, breaking these shackles, the very act of inception, takes courage equalling that of a pooled dam, that's tired of pooling, yearning to unleash it's agonies, starts trickling off crevices, broadening the fissures, sprouts in every direction that it ever desired, finally collapsing the whole pile of bricks and sand and cement and stones, gushes out in volumes, wipes and takes away every hindrance with it, subtly whispering to these that I no more can be held in the prison of myself, the cage has fallen apart, the shackles have been broken, I am free again to flow wherever I will, to stand whenever I please, to take in whatever I need to,to spew out whatever I desire, such is the ecstasy of freedom of the soul.....

    P.S. You have a very unique poignant affect in your disposition that I find very interesting to read. Yous insight into matters is immensely deep....

    ReplyDelete