-I am simple. My
life, I guess, is okay. It seems so. There seems to be less problems and
troubles than those faced by others. Sure there are times when life seems to be
crumbling down. Its real bad then. Like
the times when my elder sister would slap me right across the face for no
reason other than the fact that she was angry. It’s happened more than once.
More than half a dozen times. Of course
I don’t go whining to my mom. No, I prefer to cry in peace and not talk to my
sister, or try to do so.
I am unusual.
Different. I don’t drool over celebs or people of the opposite sex that others
tend to find *cute*. I simply don’t notice them and I have no comment on them.
Nada. No, I am not homo. I am weird.
I don’t like it when
my little brother gets ignored. He is sensitive. It’s his right, he needs the
attention. I try to make him feel better, he fails to gets it. But I try.
Why don’t they
realize? Life has its problems but it gets better. A straight road is no fun, a
curvy one holds all the adventures.
**********
-It’s
not a joke. Life. It’s not a bloody joke.
No matter how much I try or what I do, she always stands right. Always.
Haven’t I always done more for you? You have no idea what she says about you
and behind your back. Or do you have any idea that it’s me always reasoning
with her, putting sense into her. You don’t know. You hate me. Because she is
your first and she’ll always be, right there number one on your list. No matter
what I do or how hard I try. I am never right. It’s always them, always her.
Why? Why me? Why do I face all the troubles? Even when I try to do the right
always. I try not to break your trust like she has. I do not talk mean of you
to others. I try to never think badly of you. It’s all useless though. When you
don’t trust me because I’ll always remain wrong. I never believed the face that
the middle child is neglected. You've proved me wrong.
**********
-There
is a soft blurry edge to everything. It’s hazy. Everything looks funny as if each item merges into the
other. As if watching through a sheath of heavy pouring rain. As if it’s a
mirage. Out of focus and bokeh-ed, forming into bubbles and then tipping out of
focus. Moving; side to side. Unstable. They loose colors as if drained. Black
and white. Then grey. A big ugly blotch of blurry grey. Getting bigger, darker.
Swallowing me up, painlessly. Good. The pills are working.
***********
-Momina.
Suicide yeah ?
ReplyDeleteI love how you built up the emotions though :)
Yeaaah actually, it's the first thought that occurs to teenagers nowadays so as much as I despise it I had to go with it for the character to portray what really happens, often.
DeleteAnd thank you!
What great dramatics!! It brings out the feel of the story. A very good read indeed
ReplyDeletewomen do live complicated lives :-)
ReplyDeletetrue that!
Deletei really like how your story revolves around the feelings and how they change!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ashleena! I look forward to your comments!
DeleteBeing the mother of three boys, all grown up I hope and pray that number two never felt like your character !! Extremely good write it draws you in from the start! ;) xx I tried to comment with my wordpress ID but it would not work! all the best willowdot21 xx
ReplyDeleteThank you Ma'am, for your kind words. I hope you keep visiting the blog! :)
Delete