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Thursday, 23 May 2013

Buoyant Flames



With slow steps she descended into the cold pool; each step measured and pondered on the slippery floor of the pool as she had never learned how to swim. She gently walked further with even steps. Arms held outwards by her side, the back of her hands resting lightly on the slick water surface, she submerged herself up to her chin. Tendrils of dark hair, gleaming in the harsh sunlight, spread out halfway around her head like roots of an ancient tree, bobbing gently on the water. 

There was a fire burning deep within her, a mix of vapid anger and disappointments welling up from the core of her being, shattering any wall of peace and reassurance to tiny crystal like jagged pieces that burned and reflected the fire. The sweltering heat did not seep out from all her pores, outwards to the water, as she had imagined it would. The cold water around her did nothing to cool her down. While the sun was another story, showing no mercy, trying to melt her exterior unaware that she was already deteriorating inside. 

With closed eyes, so that they wouldn’t burn in this eternal battle of interior and exterior fire, she began a slow tread forward. Deeper she walked, in the colder water that wrapped around her in a desperate attempt for a little calmness. She ventured into greater depths, the water rising; quivering at the tip of her nose, the bridge between her eyes, feet gradually losing ground. Deeper and deeper she crawled, trying to avenge the blazing fire, to shut down this insane play of incoherent flames, losing herself to the water; trying hard to float in tranquility whilst she drowned in the depths of the pool.

-Momina.

20 comments:

  1. It forms a terrific imagery and the photograph accompanying it accentuates it so beautifully.Life with its turmoil and harsh realities makes us search for peace and that often leads us into a situation where we are happy to drown :)

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    1. Thank you!
      You are absolutely right. There is bliss in losing yourself.

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  2. This is surely brilliant and all that the words add up to the beauty of the perfect picture!

    I love your descriptions so much... they make you visualize.

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    1. Thank you so much! I am greatly humbled by your response!

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  3. I really enjoy the descriptive way you write. It's very powerful and evocative.

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  4. Floating in tranquillity...I relate.Absolutely.
    When all around everyone yells at me to move and get something done.;)
    On a serous note,you get the graphic written-imagery award.
    :)

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    1. Well, this is flattering. :3 Thank you so much, Talitha!

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  5. I don't know if I have asked you before, but have you ever considered writing a novel? You sure are going to be a winner !!!

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    1. This means a lot, coming from such a wonderful writer. I've been toying with an idea, I'll let you all know, soon!

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  6. Brings Virginia Wood to mind...

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  7. Wow! Wow!Wow!
    Poignantly written!!
    The images flash across my eyes as if I'm not reading but actually witnessing the whole episode happening! Really, you're a gifted and exquisite writer!! I agree with Green speck, you should get on with a novel!!

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    1. Thank you so much, Ruya!
      I am kind of getting there. :3

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  8. I ABSOLUTELY loved it. Loved the way you started and then eventually you connected it to the self and being in the next paras. I am not even kidding, this is WONDERFUL. Esp, the way the hidden truths, the sentiments and happenings are presented in it, simply terrific.
    Moreover, I loved its vagueness. Silently, and vaguely it has conveyed a beautiful blend of many things. I love how you knit the imagery in short paras. You excel in prose, always, no wonder.
    So far, so good.

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    1. Thank you so much, first for taking out the time to write out exactly how you feel about my piece and making it this elaborate. Secondly, just in general. :P
      Thank you so much, Hira. So so happy that you liked it!

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  9. I love the way your story gets kind of unpredictable, and intense with the advance of each paragraph. You have managed to elicit so much emotion and depth, and those descriptions are pretty darn amazing. The feeling is definitely relatable. I'm so glad I stumbled upon your blog :)

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    1. Thank you so much!
      Hope you read further! :)

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  10. This is so... real-some.
    Ok, I sure have run out of words to describe how 'real' it felt as I read through it.

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    1. Hahah, well I am glad you liked it!

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