Sabotage and Assassinate

Wisps of hope peel away
Opening up the insides, frayed.
Touched with time and unwanted change
Browned and worn out ashen face
Screaming out, yearning to surrogate
Limp hands for attention, wave.
"Don't look away, don't look away,
Fold yourself into the details,
Realize the mistakes that you made.
Whispered secrets, riddles and slay
There are the answers, you didn't appraise".

-Momina.

Spent In Time Traps

I am stagnant. Stuck, trapped, in time. Where, exactly? I know naught. And I am confused; undecided about whether to move or not. The effort to move requires energy and that seems to be lost. No matter how hard I try I cannot summon it. Besides, I don’t think I want to move. I am a captive of my sanity, or is it my insanity? Spellbound in my own conscience, unwilling to escape even when I can. It’s an easy way out, but it seems too much, a journey I am reluctant to make.

I can’t read or think or write. It’s seems like ages when I last wrote, or attended to business that needs to be done. It all seems pointless. I just want to sit back and watch everyday go by, no issues of time or jobs due. No nothing. Every day, though, there’s a moment when I think, when I know that I can do anything, be anything, and conquer all. But in a blink that reserve of energy is gone and I am left in an abyss of futile thoughts. Just like that. I let it go too soon maybe. My actions seem so slow. Like the feeling when you take sleeping pills and everything goes so hazy that you need minutes to think something so simple. That trance? It feel like that. Yes.

Oh well, there’s always tomorrow right? Today we can sit back and relax and just worry later…tomorrow. And act too, of course. It’s seems like a petty argument between now or never, where I am lost. Being tossed around, not struggling but misplaced. Waiting for a sign, for strength.

-Momina.